Better night than the one before, and that was pretty good. I only got up once during the night to go to the bathroom and went right back to sleep. Did wake up at 6 and don't think I actually went back to sleep before getting up at 7 a.m. But I was resting.
Yesterday was a big day, I first went to see the Urologist, and she did several tests, and confirmed that the muscle (spinkter) is shot because of the radiation and that causes me to have leakage when I stand up....they could do surgery, but not recommended....why am I getting the UTI's?.....not quite sure, could be the Erbitux that is causing very dry skin and may be irritating the bladder....so she is giving me estrogen cream to use externally, and a low grade antibiotic to take regularly to see if that works....also recommended cranberry pills, which I had already ordered and have. She said my bladder looked fine and wants to see me again in 3 months to see if things are better. Also she wants to see the results of my CTscan I have in 2 weeks at Mayo.
From there I went to get unplugged but had 1 1/2 hours in between, I first got some lunch and then shopped for Easter candy at Target. Unplugging only takes a few minutes but I managed to draw it out to about 30 minutes in visiting with the staff.
At 3:30 I arrived at Sheila Judd's for my Qigong session. It went very well, only at the beginning she asked if I had had some sadness in my day, and first responded no, but as I meditated and started talking to mom...I remembered that I had been thinking about Holy Week, and that mom died on Holy Saturday, and that I had been at the hospital on Holy Thursday before I went to church and again on Good Friday, and how she was so worried we weren't going to be able to do Easter dinner with out her...and I assured her we were all capable....but I was wrong....I tried making scalloped potatoes without turning on the oven....and at the last minute, had to microwave smaller portions. But we all laughed that mom was right we couldn't do it without her. Every Easter after that, something always goes wrong...or forgotten in the fridge etc....and we know we are missing mom!! As I was meditating and remembering all this I started to cry and the tears were running down my face...after explaining the sadness to Sheila, she said that we get healed in different ways and at different levels, so this was good!
The rest of my evening went well, talking to Kathleen and Judy on the phone, and working on the computer getting some things organized and filed.
Today I need to go get those prescriptions filled and get some groceries and try to get some tidying done before Sunday!!
Please keep those prayers coming! Love and prayers, m
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